Let Go

Okay.  I'm going to make you some tea.  And we're gonna be friends.  From now on.

We have seven and a half days left of this month, and what we need to do is use them as practice.  It's time to learn how to be alone.  But not really alone.

Your friends have been so awesome lately.  One just called to check in on you, just now, as you were sitting down to write this.  And the others have been offering love and support and advice.  Everything is okay.  I know you want someone else to tell you that one day, but for now, you can be that someone for yourself.

Everything is okay.

You're feeling a little sad, but also excited and optimisitic.  Because things will get better.  They already are better.  Seeing and feeling the truth full force sucks sometimes, but ultimately it's going to move you forward.

And so what if this is fucking cheesy?  You're writing it just to get it out there.  Because you don't need to get all hormonal once a month to vent in blog form.  You can also be a dork and talk to yourself.  And drink your tea.  It's getting cold.

If you piss away the entire weekend talking to yourself, then that's fine.  You're pretty cool.  We can talk, and I promise to chill out a little.  Maybe you're not that annoying.  Or pathetic.  You're real, and some people don't mind that.  The people who love you love how real you are.  So focus on them.

And, speaking of real, why don't you work on taking that to the next level?  You're still holding back.  Still worrying, way too much, about what others think.  Stop.  It's wasting your time.  And theirs.  If they don't want to see who you really are, then they don't have to look.  Or listen.  Or feel.  Because you know a few of them are building those walls again.

Let go.  It's time.

Whatever's meant for you...  It's out there somewhere.  You're not going to find it by analyzing every stupid thing you've said or done.  Worrying definitely won't help.  Just relax.  Let go.  Move on.

I know this is hard for you because you experience emotion, love and loss, so intensely.  But you really are doing okay.  Better than okay.  You're kicking ass.  You're strong.  Smart.  Motivated.  Ready to go.  So go.  Anywhere the wind takes you.  And you will be fine.