Over the years I've made several attempts at writing. But then I'd get delete happy and throw away almost everything. I've saved a few paragraphs on my computer, and there's a small notebook buried in one of my boxes of junk. Just need to find it.
Maybe my words will make more sense in a month or so. What if I take the best of what I've written and combine several blogs into something more coherent...
I'm a recovering perfectionist. Scared and resistant to actually putting myself out there. I haven't really let many people "in." I suppose that's what I'm trying to change this year.
I need connections. I want to feel loved. I'm so fucking lonely and... Trapped? Not sure if I feel trapped, or... Lost.
And the perfectionism just loves to creep in. I'm not including a photo with today's blog, because I didn't bring my camera to the park yesterday. I set up several Intrinsic Perspective profiles online, went for a walk, and exercised again when I got home. But I wasn't in the mood for photography.
I want it all -- a healthy life, connections, creativity. I'm off to a good start, and I'll try to ignore the whisper of "not good enough."
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