Thursday, January 2, 2014

The Process is Enough

Over the years I've made several attempts at writing.  But then I'd get delete happy and throw away almost everything.  I've saved a few paragraphs on my computer, and there's a small notebook buried in one of my boxes of junk.  Just need to find it.

Maybe my words will make more sense in a month or so.  What if I take the best of what I've written and combine several blogs into something more coherent...

I'm a recovering perfectionist.  Scared and resistant to actually putting myself out there.  I haven't really let many people "in."  I suppose that's what I'm trying to change this year.

I need connections.  I want to feel loved.  I'm so fucking lonely and...  Trapped?  Not sure if I feel trapped, or...  Lost.

And the perfectionism just loves to creep in.  I'm not including a photo with today's blog, because I didn't bring my camera to the park yesterday.  I set up several Intrinsic Perspective profiles online, went for a walk, and exercised again when I got home.  But I wasn't in the mood for photography.

I want it all -- a healthy life, connections, creativity.  I'm off to a good start, and I'll try to ignore the whisper of "not good enough."

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